Fuck Life

I have so much I want to say. But unfortunately none of it can be said in a public blog. I feel like talking in lyrics. Living a 'sad sad song tuned to chords'. The ones I always like the best. Holding on to a string of life through 'Radio Cures'. 'Cheer up, honey, I hope you can'. I'm both honey and narrator in this song. I'm not apologizing for being a little musically obsessive.

I don't want to go home. I hate home. That place is toxic.

I hate the chemistry in my brain. I hate this unquenchable hope.

I took my last two Advil PM's. I slept till 1pm. I love to sleep.

I am so jacked up. Sometimes I wonder if I like feeling jacked up. I dunno. I really liked the feelings early this morning...and that wasn't a jacked up feeling. But. Feelings are terribly deceitful. And at the end of the day...they mean very little. At least that's what I'm supposed to believe.

I'm just....lost. Disoriented. Alone. Again. As much of a loner as I can be...I don't want to be alone. I'm tired of it. As it is...I'm just fucking tired. I'm so tired. I can feel it in my skin.