The Night Not Envisioned

Hope is the fools crutch and isolation is life.

Imagine.

Mark and I are sitting on a park bench along the bayou connecting over our insatiable need to visit the Lakes & the Peaks so often written about in the Romantic period. How Tolkein & Lewis critiqued each others work over a pint at the local pub. Neither of them liked the others work too much. He tells me some fantastical story about the time he ran into JD Salinger in Connecticut. Mark says JD is unassumingly indifferent. Neither of us really knows what that means, but we love the phrase regardless.

We visit Mom & Dad in the 'burbs. They both think we're flaming liberals, even though neither of us have ever voted a straight Democratic ballot. Dad doesn't mind. He's excited about the Shiraz we picked up at Spec's for $23.17 as discount card holders. Mom's pretty much just happy that I finally have someone that can appreciate my idiosyncratic quirks. Better known as my geekiness and irritating disposition. Dad's worried that we spend too much money. Neither of us like 401K talk, even though we both know much better.

We spend the weekends in our run down Heights house that we both love. The floors are in horrible shape. Mark gets a little perturbed when I've been on the phone too long with Jules and he's still on hands & knees sanding 1500 sq ft of 70 yr old floors. It's nothing one of my famous donut smiles can't fix. I spend too much money on vintage cloth I found at High Fashions. It will be perfect for the music room. We sit in a cool corner of the living space, backs towards one another and drink a beer. Nothing fancy. A Shiner. We sit and drink beer for hours...not saying too much, but living peacefully in the connectedness that is.


Imagination is the devils workshop.

So Saturday nights guy...

Looks really cute in his "I'm in one indie movie" IMDb profile.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0116450/

Too bad he kisses with WAY too much tongue.

And yes, if I was in an indie movie I would submit my photo to IMDb...I'm just jealous or something...

Keeping Austin Weird - Take 2

So, Saturday day rolls around. We have what is turning out to be a completely normal Saturday. Meet Blondie for lunch at Hula Hut...all three of us waiting like a Pavlovian dog for the questions about last night. Blondie bites...and the laughter begins as a muffled chuckle...it mounts to a moderately funny SNL skit laugh...continues on to a "more cowbell" hardy, everyone in the restaurant is looking at us laugh.

Blondie makes the very true statement:

"You know, if someone told me in high school that I would be sitting at this table hearing this story from the three of you...I would call them a huge liar!"

My how times and people change.

Anywho, after a 3 or 4 hour nap we all decide it's time to start the party up one more time. We meet up with some people at this Texas-y bar called Lavaca St...I think. It wasn't much longer before we head back to the now infamous Lucky Lounge. I'm texting Baron de Intercontinental...trying to convince him to come see me. Like any lonely 30 something on business in a foreign city, he comes...like a bug towards the zapping light! Instantly, we start mugging. Next thing I know...I'm on my way to the Intercontinental Hotel...the MOST freezing hotel room on the planet. We start bumping fuzzies & everyones happy.

Stipper V has made her second appearance at Cutie J's house...and Busta is with dating boy number II.

Come to find out the next morning...Busta has chipped two teeth & is almost immobilized by the ginormous bruise on her knee. Hence the name...Busta...short for Busta Teeth. I see this being inspiration for a new H-ton rapper song.

"Tearin up in Austin/the reason for my grill/Fell out the door of brothers truck/and chipped my teeth fo real"

Now Stripper V is showing off her battle bruises...She kept all her teeth...but lost something on the way...oh wait...scratch that. I lost something on the way & I think the cat ate it Friday night with Cous. Hummmmmmm...

Anywho, needless to say...I LOVE AUSTIN. And I'm pretty good at laying down some killer lyrics. I think I have a career there.

Busta, Stripper V and Me Keep Austin Weird

"This is the WORST night ever! I want to go back to Houston right now! I'm crying & you're bleeding! I hate Austin!"

This is the story of why Susan LOVES Austin...

It all started with a gin martini at this mod, yet not pretensious, bar called the Foundation. Stripper V & Busta's cousin was in town on business...in tow, his 80 yr old boss. A dirty billionaire that smokes SUPER long cigarettes. Love that. We're drinking along thinking how friendly people are in Austin. Enter Saturday's conquest, Baron de Intercontinental. We all three chat with him for a while, but decide it's time to move on...to Lucky Lounge. Ahhhh...Lucky Lounge. If there is one bar that lives up to its name...it's this one. I spy these two normal looking boys (ok...so pathetic looking to the sober eye, but normal after 3 drinks). I decide to make out with the one that is the spitting image of Jim Carey from Dumb & Dumber plus an uber think Texas accent. You know, the kind that makes you sound ignorant...not the kind that makes you sound sexy...like Matthew McConahey (I know...I just spelled it phonetically). So, apparently, I'm LOVING the kissing with Dumb & Dumber, and SV & Busta keep trying to save me from making a fool of myself. I wasn't trying to hear that. I just kept on suckin face with tard muff. So, it's about to turn 2. I have NO idea how I ended up in the parking garage with the Cous, but I did. Then I started swaping spit with cute Cousin boy! Man...We somehow all meet up at Katz's Never Kloses & that's when things get sloppy...

I'm trying to convince Cous to locate some coke. I have NO idea why. I don't do that crap AT ALL. Never have...don't imagine I ever will. He's too drunk...he's just worried that I will make it a night with Dumb & Dumber. Thank all the goodness in the world that didn't happen. Eeesh. We end up with Busta's key & directions to her place for the cabbie. Cous has to make a suspicious stop at the convenience store on our way. Somewhere between the hot & heavy muggin' & the & all the heavy groping the cabbie dropped us off...at the WRONG complex! Turns out we are two miles from where we should be. I HATE THAT CABBIE! Cous & I decide we can hike it to Busta's. I'm FREEZING & in heels so Cous decides it would be a great idea for one over served person to give another over served person at piggy back ride. So, I hop on. That same instant...we both topple to the ground. It was more like a piece of ply wood falling from an upright position. I hop up & laugh a little until I notice Cous isn't getting up. He's laying prostrate in the middle of the street. He finally stands up & blood is dripping from his split lip & nose. I'm drunk so I'm whiping blood from his face & he's yelling at me, "When you piggyback ride you don't lean forward. LEAN BACK!" I told him to stop blaming it on me...So, he did.

About another half mile down the road I say, "So, do you have Busta's key?"
"No, I gave it to you!"
"No you didn't! You had it when we were holding hands!"

Neither of us could find the key. This is where I sit on the curb & BAWL. Cous is bleeding...I'm bawling. We eventually sort of pull it together & find a mail room in some random apt complex to get us out of the cold. We sit down, Cous still bleeds & Susan still cry and we wait. Busta wakes up her very good friend to get the spare key...drops the real Dumb & Dumber off at her apt...Drops Stripper V off at Cutie J's house & she heads to one of her Boy Toy's houses.

What a mess. So, That was Friday night from about 10:15 to about 4:45a. Damn.

To be continued...