The man of my dreams drives a Murano

And I stole a glimpse of him at 6am this morning. He drove past me at the gym blaring "I'd die without you..." the song sung as a round in RENT. So, he was driving this Murano wearing this adorable beenie. He didn't look gay, but I'm the WORST person in the world for deciphering sexual preference. I bet his name if Mark Cohen, he's Jewish, wears a blue & white scarf and glasses. Isn't fantasizing fun? We'd chat about our anti-consumerism views & how Walmart is the downfall of Western civilization while we sip free trade coffee. Then I'd say something dirty & we'd have to run home for a little fun in Santa's sack. For Christmas we travel instead of exchange presents. This year is New York...but not until New Years...Neither of us have been silly enough to go to Times Square for the ball drop, but this year we're casting aside our pretensious pretensions, paying 100 bux per ticket & counting down the new year with all the other tourists. Back at the hotel, we'll fight about him using my towel...I hate that. But never fear, we make up...again & again & again.

[phone rings in real life. Susan realizes this is truly all a day dream. that warm deceitful feeling cools to something humdrum & ordinary. She smiles, 'Hope Springs Eternal' ]

Guys Leave the Cologne at Home When You Go to the Gym

I saw two awesome movies this Thanksgiving holiday. Why the hell do I always feel the need to write about movies on this thing? Anywho. The ones I saw were the completely obvious choices for me...Pride & Prejudice and RENT. Keira Knightley does a fantabulous job as Elizabeth Bennett. My sisters and I were saying all the lines left out of the modestly timed 2 hour version of P&P...It was quite amusing. Oh & Keira looks like a 12 yr old boy throughout the whole movie. I have NEVER seen a girl THAT flat chested. I would donate the the KKBF (Keira Knightley Boob Fund) if I could...Poor girl.

Then there was RENT. I don't even know what to say. Apparently, if you are a RENT fanatic you might could think that the movie isn't exactly like the Broadway show...and I'm sure it is not. However, the message was not lost on me. The power chords draw you in and manipulate you quite nicely. I LOVE all the characters. And afterwards my sister & I decided to move to New York and get weird friends. These two teenagers were on a date to this movie & made fun of it the whole time. I realize there is always going to be an element of cheese with any Broadway show, but seriously, it saddens me to think that people can't get past the "Will You Light My Candle?" scene and realize that we're acually talking about some pretty heavy issues here...Drugs...the hiv...but most importantly, loving people...because they are people...that aren't terrorist or satan worshipers...they're just people living life as best they know how. And if I can just stand a little higher on my soap box for a second. I don't want ANYONE to say something about all the AIDS in the movie. Cause, quite honestly, that could be almost anyone I know. It could be me...or my best friend...or my boss...Just because you aren't gay & don't shoot up doesn't not mean you are above people with AIDS. And I'm sick and tired of people being discriminated against bc of that. [Susan steps off box and reverts to overly passive Susan] Anywho, I love it and want to live that way...just loving people bc they are.

Later Peeps.

I've got nothin

Today has been a bad day. I cried those true tears. You know, the ones that come out even when your forehead isn't wrinkled up and you're trying your damnedest to keep them in. However, I have found that if you just let them out, don't hold back and release...you don't get the puffy red nose and eyes as badly.

Anywho, I fucked up. Over & over & over again...So, I deserve to feel shitty.

I realized today that I'm getting old. In the car on the way back from lunch, a friend was playing some jams on his MP3 player. They were all 90's songs. And I actually said, "Why is it all the best music from my life was made in the 90's?" A split second after that statement, I flashed forward 20 years. Me in my mary janes with knee high stockings and a plaid skirt, trying to look like Alicia Silverstone & my man dressed like a wannabe Eddie Vedder at the Pearl Jam Reunion Tour. I can't believe this...I'm actually getting older. I feel like I need to buckle down & do something...This feeling is totally overidden by the overwhelming desire to go the Chili's house & take up Hydro.

So, enough DoomsDay shit. It could be worse. I could be completely unemployed, pregnant, chemically scarred face, one tit & hepatitis C. So, I guess things aren't all bad...

So, this was the wrong week to go on a diet & cut out social/stress smoking...

the We's & What Not's

So, my girlfriend just wrote me an email with that line in there somewhere. It stuck out to me. It's kind of hard to go from a title to post. Much easier to figure out the title after the post is written or during...but I just loved this one so much I thought I'd go the other way for once.

I love celebrity gossip. I know...it's horrible & ridiculous. And I also love Jake Gyllenhaal. I wish he was my 'we' & I'd show him 'what not' all night long. Of course, I'd probably end up with lock jaw the next day & that hurts worse than looking to long at a picture of Kevin Federline.

I've finally met someone with a bigger head than me. He's new here. HUGE head...huger than huge. I bet he has to buy two hats at the store & get them sewn together to fit that jug. Anywho, 'we' could start a 'huge head club' or 'what not'.

I love how self sacrificing my posts aren't. I kinda feel like a total egotistical twat writing all these things about myself. So, I'm not even that good at it...ok, who am I kidding...this is damn good stuff. 'We' must not be self depricating and 'what not' it's not becoming of a self absorbed blogger.

Did you know British people say twat rhymes with mat...instead of twat rhymes with lot? I love it. I'm totally stealing that from the Brits.