Lie

So apparently, when your boss asks you if you hate your job and you ignore it the first time...and she keeps asking you over & over again...you're supposed to lie. Whoops.

The Hot Tub

My blog & I were just recently accused of being 'three steps away from the edge [of the cliff]'. So, I'm rectifying this with a story from the past.

Dallas: February, 2003 - So, this one day my girlfriend calls me up at work. Her boyfriend was being a putz, and she wanted to go flirt with other boys. I say, "hey, let's go Za." Anytime anyone feels low in Dallas, one MUST Za. Hotel Za Za of course. Za is an interesting word in that it can be a noun, verb, adjective, basically you can use Za as any part of speech as long as it passes my & J's approval. Now I'm chasing rabbits...Ok. So, it's a school night...probably Thursday & we head out to the Dragonfly at HZZ lookin' hot as hell in our off the shoulder shirts. Remember when EVERYONE was wearing those off the shoulder shirts? Well, of course, we were. So, we had a couple GnT's each so we're feeling better. In walk two boys. We look them up & down & they happily reciprocate. We're about to go in for the kill when we notice, they're coming towards us...with liquor...for us! God, I love Dallas. So, the kinda short one but OH SO ADORABLE one's name is Rand. He's one of those blonde hair blue eyed, Hitler'd never know type Jews. His celebrity match is a young Anderson Cooper. SO cute...of course J ensnares him immediately. I get stuck with rat fink, Baltimore bill, hair slicked back, Kevin. Regardless, we're chatting, they came from the Mavs game. Mavs won (go Dirk). One thing leads to another & J & I are in the back of Rand's Land Rover...it's a Rand Rover! He heads to his casa in Highland Park. We park in the driveway...open up to garage door to reveal the S class Mercedes and BMW X5. So, we grab a bottle of wine in his contemporary house. Rand says, "let's go to the hot tub". Yeah...the hot tub is on his roof. It's got this fantastical view of downtown Dallas, a little hazy from the steam coming from the hot tub...there's a sound system out there playing something loud & we're passing around the bottle of Kendall Jackson (I know...I was so expecting something better too). Anywho, that was just one of the many adventures from when Susan did Dallas.

Where have all the Raouls gone?

Last night was Phantom, for the 5 billionth time. How do you spell 'billionth'? Hummm...Anywho, it was no Sarah B-man & Mike Crawford, nevertheless, in true form, I still cried at the end. But my question this time was not of a philosophical nature....no, I know how appearance can affect ones life....I wanna know where all the Raouls have gone??? Where are you? I'm making a desperate plea for some man to descend to the prison of my black dispair (I totally skeezed that from ALW) and fill my mind with thoughts of summer time (more stealing). But no. All you frumps just sit around playing video games, watching Sports Center & oggling over unatainable women. I'm tired of you lame asses. Do something worthy you slaves to society. For now, I'm done with you. I want a Raoul & I want a Raoul NOW. Cordially yours, Veruca Salt.

Inequity

I just wrote this email to an 'old' friend...He asked me what I've been up to recently. I told him...I'm living for livings sake. Existential thoughts have been consuming me lately. I know it's the age old question with some very Sunday School answers...but what the hell am I doing with my meaningless existence? I should at least spend life doing something more fun than spending the vast majority of my time living to pay bills, and that's what I've done for years now. Damn Industrial Revolution. Damn TV. Damn luxury of leisure. I should start riding my bike to work simply to be able to connect to a cause. People like to get riled up about stuff...it makes you feel alive. Maybe that's why I've jumped out of a plane twice...For those 30 seconds or so...looking over the edge of the plane...your heart pounds...your breath shortens...and you realize...this could be it. The fear for me lies in the fact that I wouldn't have left anything worth noting except a 2 minute spot on the local news about some young chick that died in a freak skydiving accident...she leaves behind a young Frank the cat.

Penguins

Last night-went to the Angelika & saw March of the Penguins. SUPER film!!! Go see it...it will make you think more than you imagine. These penguins whole existence is to reproduce. To me that's amazing. I feel as though I completely take new life for granted & don't appreciate the power of recreating. I think any society tainted by the industrial revolution has lost its focus and place in the food chain. I feel like as an industrial society we've lost out survival skills & clear definitions of our place in the world. Think about it for just one second. Before the I.R. we focused on sustaining & producing life. We fought to live. And that doesn't sound so bad to me. Yes, there was disease & life expectancy was low, but that was the part of the circle. Don't tell me you've never had one of those days where you thought, 'man I wish my only responsibility in life was to keep a family...till the land...rear the kids...' Ok, maybe that's just me, but I think we've screwed with nature. There's no survival of the fittest anymore for human race. The icky genes keep getting passed on to create a world of geneticall inferior sheep that are lost. Totally a segway into the Second Law of Thermodynamics, but that's TOTALLY a different story. I think we're only killing ourselves by trying to make life easier.

I heart Huckabees

So, I realized the other day that I totally live my life as though life imitates art. Is that bad? I think it might be. Shouldn't art imitate life? Shouldn't life be more meaningful to me than a dumb movie or book written by some psuedo intellectual?

Example, all these movies that you see about 'love'. We all know that love is not like a movie, but I find myself really giving into Hollywood love ideals. If you don't quit your dream job to be with me more often does that mean you don't love me? I broke up with Pinot Nior because I was second to his dream. Second doesn't seem so bad anymore. Maybe I was second in work but first in love. I dunno. Anywho, I just feel brainwashed. I'm sick of feeling like my life should play out like a novel, and I'm stuck in the later chapters right before the end where the protagonist is completely dispairing.

Anywho, I heart Huckabees is a cool ass movie.