#1 Just because a guy buys you a plane ticket to come see him...it DOES NOT mean he likes you. It means he's loaded and has more money than sense [cents] .
#2 Your puns are ALWAYS funny.
#3 Quitting smoking is a ridiculous idea that you wish you never came up with.
#4 If the guy you're seeing/talking to/dating/f-ing doesn't call...it means he doesn't want to talk to you.
#5 Hooking up with peoples' cousins isn't always as hilarious and awesome as you first thought.
#6 Admitting you have a ficitional boyfriend named Mark Cohen on MySpace...not your smartest move.
#7 Look in the mirror fatty and put DOWN the left over Easter candy!
#8 You really might never have a boyfriend again because you're weird. Weird and Fat. Bad combination.
#9 Both your younger sisters will be married before you even get another boyfriend. Maybe you shouldn't use condoms in AZ?
#10 Life is not as bad as you think it is. So knock it off. You have great friends. A great family. And would only do one thing differently in life. That's pretty damn good.
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