Two Letters Away From Satan

I don't know where to begin with this...For a really long time I've pretty much hated spirituality. It was just too much freakin' work. But, I had somewhat of a break thru this past weekend. My mom is always trying to make me feel guilty for not being a better 'Christian'. The parents are constantly saying they've failed, since my life has waned. That's pretty difficult to hear, when your parents think they are failures because of adult decisions you have made. When, in all honesty and reality, it has not one scintilla of a thing to do with them. I've always realized that they say these things, because they want what's best for me but still hard to hear.

So, I'm almost done with this super awesome book. P.S. I hate using the word awesome...but there it is. The book is called Blue Like Jazz. I was talking to a co-worker yesterday about my little book and was kind of offended when he said, "what is this some kind of Christian theology mixed with secularism?" NO! Then I thought about it...I can TOTALLY see where someone who knows me as two letters away from Satan Susan would think that. So, I'm not offended anymore Guacamole Boy. But really it's not like that at all

I approached it with the sad, but real thought that it was going to suck. It starts out with very honest naratives of the authors childhood, but I didn't completely connect until he talked about his captivation/spiritual connection he had towards the Penguins! After that I was in love. [Refer back to previous entry entitled 'Penguins'] Then he started talking about why it was hard for him to be a Christian. He was constantly 'over-thinking' his mistakes, putting all this pressure on himslelf to be perfect, and experiencing guilt when he inevitably failed. He wrote about grace in a way I'd never really thought about it before. In fact, I'm ashamed to admit, I'd never really disected the word before. I never thought about it's true meaning. It's the single most freeing word in our language. I am insatiably curious as to how it's translated in other languages. Anywho, I'm SO not going to say what he says about it, because I think every Christian who has ever wanted more than the Lakewoods and the Second Baptists of the world should read it. Anyone who has felt out of place for questioning things or disenfranshised by the modern church should read this short book filled with stories that will make you laugh, cry, and ultimately give you hope. I haven't felt true hope for years on end. I've relished in my ignorance all the while missing the amazing things that have been taking place around me.

I didn't know where to start, but I knew that I had to get involved in community like his. My soul yearned for this. Where does a modern girl with slightly obscure views of the world turn, but craigslist. You can look my add up...I just posted it yesterday. It's under the strictly platonic section in the personals box. I tried to find a spirituality or religious section, but there wasn't one. It states "Wanted : A church that doesn't suck". I honestly didn't think anyone would respond, but I did this yesterday at about 3 or 4 pm and I've had ten responses and only one was 'negative'. It wasn't all that negative. In response, he said, Super Happy Fun Land. So, I wrote him back, explaining I too was skeptical, but hope springs eternal. Yeah, he didn't have anything to say to that.

Come to find, many people recommended this place called Ecclesia. I'm uber excited to see if it's worth my excitement.

Later, Peeps.