Things I Have to Keep Telling Myself…Revisted.

1. When someone tells you they are a douche bag the first time you meet them…believe them.

2. There is no need to eat Ramen Noodles at 3 in the morning no matter how many gin ‘n tonics you’ve had.

3. Sometimes taking a trip you can’t afford can be worth the debt.

4. Don’t believe boys. It’s just easier.

5. It’s a good idea to practices hexes and unforgivable curses just in case the person that introduced you to such things turns out to be a huge butthole.

6. Don’t buy into things like, “Just sing your favorite song from RENT and your asthma will go away.”

7. Pouting isn’t real when it comes from a boy, it’s just a way to get into your pants.

8. 1% of the worlds population is born without a conscience. Keep a list of the ones you know then practice this incantation “crucio”. Must be said with forcefulness.

9. Avada Kedavra Cho Chang

10. And whatever you do…Remember this last thought. Never…I repeat…NEVER get involved with people that live solely on blood money. In the end…they are all just like O.J.