the Curse of the Grey Paisley Shirt

goodbye love,
goodbye love,
came to say goodbye love goodbye,
just came to say goodbye love,
goodbye love goodbye love goodbye love,
hello disease.

There once was this super cute boy. He wore thick, black, Gucci glasses and tight Diesel jeans. His hair was short and looked super cute messy in the morning. Sometimes he would comb it to part. That was especially cute.

There once was this average girl. She also wore thick, plastic glasses…but her’s were PRADA. They have these little rhinestones one the side. She liked to wear her old skool red ‘No Name’ shoes, ironically bought at Nordstrom, with a tattered jean skirt when she knew she’d be hanging out with him.

They would sit in his living room and read Harry Potter books together... or sometimes work on brain teaser puzzles. She refused to race Sudoku with him after finding out his best score was 5 minutes on a ‘medium’ puzzle. She doesn’t much like to loose. Especially to idiot boys.

One Sunday, he gave up football to hang out with her after a quasi arguement. They went to Half Price...bought books…Luby’s…ate a late lunch…and Target to try on hats. It was the best day they had both had in a long while. She was satisfied.

He held her hand as they walked thru the parking lot and never missed an opportunity to tickle her vulnerable areas when they were unwittingly exposed.

He would say things to her like, “I knew the second I saw you that I was going to like you a lot”. And “It’s so cute the way you smell everything before you eat it or drink it”.

I think she even spotted a blue & white scarf laying on the floor of his untidy room he rented on the East Side. Of course he lived there. He was the embodiment of all things counter culture.

They would eat lunch together almost everyday. Sometimes he would just read the paper and she would think how happy she was that she didn’t have to be talking all the time or coming up with the next best witty thing to say to keep his interest. They would just sit there enjoying company.

But she has a curse. The curse of the Grey Paisley Shirt. She knew Target clothes shouldn’t be entirely trusted, but cursed blouses? She didn’t think it went that far. Maybe if she’d sprung for the Isaac Mizrahi blouse and left Xhiliration alone…this wouldn’t be happening.

But it did…This shirt she wore when he was in Dallas a few weeks ago…He called and said he wasn’t coming home…He was going to live in Dallas. A couple days later, the grey paisley shirt mashed safely in the bottom of the dresser, she convinced him to come home. He said, “We’re going to make this work”. And they tried. Life was good again…the stars aligned with the earth and everything was content. Until today. She decided to wear the damned cursed shirt again…Only to find her phone ringing at 8:15 this morning.

“Hello?”
“Hey.”
“Hey you coming home from the UT/OU game?”
“Actually, that’s why I’m calling you”
“OK”
“I’m not coming home—I’m moving to Arkansas and I’m not coming home until December probably…and that will just be to collect the rest of my things.”
::cricket:: :: cricket::

And that’s the story or counter culture boy, average girl and the curse of the Grey Paisley Shirt. Apparently, her tears don’t contain the magical components needed to heal hearts and disseminate evil Target curses. God, she wished they did.