Another Movie & Other Randomness

A River Runs Through It is cool. God I wish I was born a long time ago. What is it that longs for this simplicity? Maybe it isn't as beautiful as it seems...in fact...I'm sure it wasn't. I'm sitting here blankly starring at my computer screen, welling up with tears. Tears for simplicity. I wish the thoughts in my head would melt into the river and be swept away by the current. Now I have that odd burning knot in my throat...I hate that. Good Lord I'm a selfish dirty bitch. I hate myself & adore myself. This is why I loved Dallas. I turned off my mind for 2 years & just lived. Didn't think about anything that meant anything. I wasn't weird or uninteresting or 'special'...I just was. I existed...no more trascendence...no more metaphysical-ness. I didn't sit in the backyard anymore & watch the dragonflies dance across the trillions of hydrogen bonds on the pools surface. It was the only time I've been allowed to do that in my whole life. I blame my parents. Old Man read me Paradise Lost as a bed time story. I affectionately referred to it as the Hell Book. I was five...come on. Yes, they ruined me. But I love it. Somethings wrong with me...